Wow! You really know you're doing something right when you are invited to give a lead at a recovery program. Lord knows I have a loooonngg way to go - heck I still (too regularly for my blood) slip back into enabling/co-dependent territory - but this was solid confirmation that I am at least heading in the right direction.
It was good to be able to share my experience, strength and hope with others. It all goes back to the Life-Anon concept. No matter what the situation - addiction (to whatever), affair - it's all about how we deal with the chaos, not just the situation. How do we choose to live our own lives? Where are the boundaries and at what point do we hold our ground when they are crossed?
How do we cope day-to-day with the inundation of repeated degradations, lies and self-determined grandiosity of our addicts? How do we cope with the second-guessing through which we put ourselves? How do we determine if we are doing what's best for us? For our children? Whom should we put first - the kids? Ourselves? The other people in our lives whom we feel we should be pleasing? Wait, we shouldn't be trying to please anyone else. We have to do what is in both our best interest and that of our children, if we have any.
How do we open up and ask for help from those around us? What are the resources available to us? I was so surprised to see the immense outpouring of help I received just a few weeks ago. It was absolutely AMAZING! The possibilities, opportunities and support are out there waiting for us to act. Waiting to be invited. Waiting to be a part of our journey.
I know I have at least as much thanks for having been invited to speak as anyone could possibly have for my having been there. It was such an honor to be asked. I pray that my recovery continues. I pray that others in recovery find the burden a little less heavy each day. I pray that I am open to His will, whether it is the same as mine or not. I pray...I pray a lot.
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