Sad but true.

So my acceptance of what is continues as does his refusal to follow through with his responsibilities. 

I again have evidence that he is still drinking while the kids are with him. 

He is still refusing to pay his half of the kids' out of pocket medical bills to date.

I continue my journey of knowing that this is the way he is and that he will continue to be until he is, as an addict once said to me, "miserable enough."  I do not believe he will ever be miserable enough to change, but it would be a welcome change, if ever he is.

I don't even think I pity him anymore for he has made these decisions of his own volition.  I still do not trust him and lost all respect for him some time ago - and, yes, it is because of his treatment of me and the kids and the overall situation. 

I feel worst for the kids.  I abhor the fact that they are first hand witnesses to his behaviors and are told half-truths and lies to explain away what they see and hear.  They are in training to become co-dependent enablers.  I can only pray that God will give them the courage and strength to see it all for what it really is and that they grow up to be strong, confident and able to live their own lives without the destruction of co-dependence and enabling.