Love is...

Remember those cute little cartoons titled "Love Is..."?  They were around a lot when I was younger.  Haven't seen them in a long time.  Some were whimsical, others were serious, but they always put a smile on your face.  They were cute.

I was told I was loved, but it didn't look anything like those little cartoons.  This is why I question whether he ever loved me at all.  This is why I believe that I was a means to an end of some sort.  I didn't pay attention back in the day...I believed all his lies and manipulations.  I believed he loved me then.  When you love someone, you do NOT do these things to her.

Love is...holding your "soulmate's" hand while ogling everyone else around you.
Love is...showing your "soulmate" that she is not good enough.
Love is...an exception...she is intellectually good enough..
Love is...coercing your "soulmate" into doing things to which she objects.
Love is...manipulating the truth as you want it to be seen, not how it actually is.
Love is...blaming your "soulmate" for your problems.
Love is...calling your "soulmate" a "soulmate" while chasing down another.
Love is...leaving physical evidence (IM's, bills, DUI's) that you love another.
Love is...using your "soulmate's" car to visit your concubine.
Love is...showing up drunk to your parents' anniversary party.
Love is...admitting that it's because you "feel bad" for having hurt your concubine.
Love is...crying on your concubine's birthday and admitting it to your "soulmate."
Love is...inviting your concubine to your home when your "soulmate" is there.
Love is...convincing your "soulmate" about the 3+ year "platonic" relationship.
Love is...telling your "soulmate" that you want to "fix the marriage."
Love is...telling the concubine that "she fell for it."
Love is...tearing out the heart of your "soulmate" again and again and again.
Love is...doing a dance on that heart once it's out on the floor.
Love is...moving in with your concubine when you want to 'fix the marriage."
Love is...justifying your actions - "I had to do it, you left me no choice."
Love is...going to counseling and telling your "soulmate" how awful she is.
Love is...blaming your "soulmate" for the affair in the first place.
Love is...never admitting to your "soulmate" the hurt you caused her.
Love is...admitting to your "soulmate" the hurt you caused your concubine.
Love is...moving back in with a family that you really didn't want.
Love is...blaming your family for your choices, again and again.
Love is...minimizing 2 OVI's.
Love is...putting your family in harm's way, whether intentional or not.
Love is...minimizing 3 accidents, two of which involved your children.
Love is...projecting your issues onto others - "you think I am horrible."
Love is...passive-aggressive.
Love is...not engaging in a dissolution, keeping the legal tie binding.
Love is...blaming the divorce on the "soulmate" you destroyed.
Love is...still passive-aggressive by not engaging in the divorce.
Love is...contesting everything in the divorce.
Love is...denial.