Man in the Mirror

I want only the best for you but more importantly, our children. As the people I have loved and cared for (for so long), I have to say it without being "up your ass"...

SOMETHING HAS TO CHANGE.

I left again, as I had before but will change really happen? What makes this time different? I want to believe you love them.  They have tried to tell you many times they don't like your drinking. You've even told them that nothing good comes from it, but the cycle of denial and excuses repeats itself and keeps getting worse.

Please don't think I'm ragging on you - just listen (not just to me but open your ears to them). Instead of justifying your actions or being defensive, set an example. Having a job and going to work don't define a person, especially a person with the many talents, insight and intelligence you have to offer the world. Your life stagnated because of alcohol-related events, denial and blame... the excuses continue to be a crutch.

I hate the way things have become and when anyone attempts to make you understand, you push them farther away emotionally and physically (i.e., yelling at your daughter when you threw her snowflake to the floor; calling their mother a "stupid bitch," amongst other incidents). You have given me the greatest gift ever by allowing me to love the children you helped bring into this world.

I hope in my absence life will change but only you hold the key to fix it - not your friends (whom you continue to avoid), your girlfriend (who continues to be your #1 enabler), your mom (who is #2 enabler), other relatives or even co-workers. The only person we have to live with for the rest of our lives is the one we see in the mirror. Your children need you to see that person again. He's the reason I'm writing this and I hope for all that really love you and know him, the true changes that need made will happen. This comes from my heart to one of the greatest guys I've ever known - the man you no longer see.  The man you no longer are.

I speak for all the others who love you, too, in saying don't be mad because we care.