Sober jackass or drinking again?

Back in 2010-11 when I was attending the family program for addicts, I became very frustrated about my ex's constant swing between active addict and dry drunk.  The counselor alluded to the fact that it was possible that my ex could end up a sober jackass - he very well could be a nasty SOB.  I didn't want to believe that he was truly that evil, but I am again wondering if that is possible.

Over the past 6 years, he has ridden the rollercoaster of addiction, often leaving clues that he might be (was?) drinking again.  He has left little nibblets over the past few months, but he has really started up again.  I can tell because he initiates communications that are completely unnecessary or even nasty.  What's the latest?

He had asked if he could pick up the kids early this afternoon since he is going out of town for work tomorrow.  I replied no because we had tickets to an afternoon play performance.  He commented on my inflexibility (like I really have ESP, can see into the future and planned to attend this particular performance because I knew he would want to adjust his visit time!) and has been throwing a temper tantrum.  How?

He communicated with me this week that tonight he expected me to return some of our son's electronics (which he has had confiscated until he pays restitution for taking a pipe wrench to our lawnmower and for other deliquency).  I did not comply so when he arrived this evening, he told our daughter to tell me I had to go out to his car.  Not her job to be the messenger so I stayed in the house.  He tooted the horn.  I still stayed inside.  He came up ON the front porch (he usually stays down on the sidewalk) and reached out as if he were going to open the screen door so I locked it.

I put the top window down so the screen was there and he went off like a rocket -
"Dr. [Seuss] said you go to the nines ...."  No, that was you who said that, not Dr. [Seuss].
"You have to return the items."  When our son has finished paying restitution, he can have them.
"You can't.... he's a kid and he can't pay back the [hundreds of dollars] that he owes."

What I wanted to say, but was afraid the children would hear since the car door was open was:
And you want him to end up like you?  Everyone enabling him and allowing him to get away with immense wrongdoing with no consequences?!  Oh, yes, that is it.

He really went off - yelling, huffing.  I told him good-bye and shut the upper window on him and he went stomping back to his car.  A few minutes later, I received a text that threatened that if I did not return the items, he would not allow our daughter to go with me after her chorus concert.  Stomp, stomp, 😠 tantrum, tantrum 😡 Some things never change 😝

Now for today's positives, just a few of the many wonderful blessings in life:

• The kids and I enjoyed my school's theatrical performance with a colleague, her mother and daughter, after meeting for lunch and then a quick spin through a local department store.
• We were able help a friend by loaning her family a dog crate to use until their puppy outgrows it (and she will!).
• The kiddos and I finally had a few minutes yesterday to just sit and veg for a bit.  Life has been hectic, but we took the very needed deep breath.
• Our son met with his new counselor and it looks like this may be a very good thing, indeed.
• This weekend's volunteering is Christmas related and will be lots of fun!