It's true...justice really is blind.

I began drafting this post on Wednesday, July 18, 2012, after I lay in bed for quite some time, my mind racing with all the wrongs that had been done in the past few months in the divorce process.  I have decided that the court system is not looking for truth.  It responds positively to the one who can create the illusion of truth.  Because of this, Lady Justice truly is blind.  And she turns a blind eye to the ones who need her the most.

His lies and manipulations of information in his writings, his testimony and his interviews all paved the way for his exoneration.  Not only has he not been held responsible by the court system for his legal wrongs, but this same court system awarded him even more privileges than he had before.

On the stand, he lied about his having lost his job last summer.  We had the paperwork that proved he was fired, but his lawyer found some loophole that prevented it from being entered into evidence.  Furthermore, he lied and said that he was not the only one let go that day.  There were "many" others.  Another lie.  The result of these lies?  Months of alimony and child support not being paid.  I could have fought with objections (but according to my attorney, no "new" evidence could be presented), but decided it wasn't financially worth the fight.  I was willing to let it go, and I did.

And so I sit here at the dawn of July 18, 2012, drafting this post.  I do not understand how so much can go so wrong within the justice system.  It truly is not working in favor of the innocent.  It is working for the one with the most convincing poker face - and I never was any good at bluffing.  I just tell it like it is.

I am also weighing my options with the motion to suspend visitation.  The GAL report, as the ex puts it, is in his favor and, according to my attorney, the court typically accepts the report, even after a trial to argue against it.  My dilemna now is that I do not know exactly what the GAL discussed with or asked the children, the ex or his girlfriend.  Thus, I run the risk of having to put the kids on the stand to testify if certain questions were not asked.  Based on what our daughter shared, the GAL was the "best listener ever.  He didn't interrupt once and I even asked him if he wanted to say or ask anything.  He just kept listening."

So, I am pretty sure he did not talk to the kids about what the other adults have said to them, such as:
"Don't call 9-1-1 if something is wrong with your daddy.  [The girlfriend] will take care of him."
"If you keep telling your mommy things, she will tell the court and you won't see daddy ever again."
"When daddy was taken to the hospital, he just needed some fluid because he was dehydrated.  He was fine."

Nor, did he ask them about situations such as:
The day their daddy physically hit my driver's side window with his fist at his pickup time one Sunday for dinner.
The day their daddy passed out at the pool and they swam "all day."  And "it was so funny.  Daddy fell asleep on the chair and we kept dumping water on him and he still wouldn't wake up."
Or, the day their daddy passed out on the stairs of the apartment and the kids didn't know if he was dead or alive.
Or, how about the night our son puked and his father wouldn't wake up to help clean it?  The girlfriend threw a blanket over it and made the kids sleep there.

Another thing that was supposed to be settled during the motion to suspend visitation were unfiled contempt charges for breaking almost every order in the parenting entry - father will seek individual counseling (not done until nearly 9 months later when the GAL was appointed) and father will refrain from consuming alcohol within 24 hours of parenting time.  Yet, the GAL report found that he deserved even more privileges than he previously had and did not even address these issues.  The safeguards recommended are but token gestures.  He didn't follow the orders the first time around, why will he follow them the second time around?

What about the loopholes and missing consequences?  The recommendations must assume that he will follow through when he hasn't followed through on anything in the past.

So I have to decide between stopping the hemmorhage of money that is being wasted on fighting for the truth and continuing the fight for the truth while destroying my physical, emotional and mental health.  I dropped the objections to the property settlement because I saw no positive outcome in pursuing them although I now wish I would have at least tried.  Now it's a question of the kids' safety.  Am I ready to let go the rest of the way?  Not tonight.  My kids are too precious and deserve better.

A new season begins

It's that time of year again - back to school!  It's amazing how fast the summer goes, and this summer flew by.  I had a long to-do list, but accomplished very little due to my ill-fated ACL recovery.  However, I am finally getting some action from the docs - and just in time to go back to teaching!  So, the summer to-do list will have to wait until next year.

In the meantime, we did some neat things this summer.  We visited my uncle in D.C. and had a great time.  We rocked the Mall with the Girl Scouts' 100th anniversary celebration.  We went geocaching.  We camped out in the backyard.  We went to the movies.  We rescued 4 wild baby birds.  We adopted a retired greyhound racer.  We enjoyed some down time.  We restarted our prayers and positives before bedtime.

Now, we are in nearly full swing of the fall season.  Hard to believe, given it's still summertime!  But, football has been going since the end of July and my first day at school is today - freshman orientation.  It's hard to believe that I am returning to the classroom already.  The kids' school starts in a week and a half and dance starts in September.

I am ready for the changes.  I think the kids are, too.  It's nice to have a routine again, albeit a very EARLY in the morning routine.  I believe this change will do us good.

Today I am thankful for me...for continuing to have the strength and courage to continue finding joy in life.  I am thankful for my kiddos...they are incredibly caring, compassionate, loving and forgiving.  I could learn a thing or two from them.

Me